Today I’m going to be talking to you about how to stop caring about what other people think so that you can put yourself out there.
I remember a few years ago; well, many years ago actually I was working at this job while I was at university. I really liked this job. We often got tested by a trainer and we would have to stay up on our skills.
I did my thing and the trainer recognized some talent in me and they let me know that they thought that I would be an amazing trainer if I ever wanted to go down that route; that there would be a lot of opportunities for me within the company.
I shared it with my coworkers who were working with me during that shift.
Right away, I was shot down. They actually scoffed at me.
They were talking about how being a trainer isn’t what it cracked up to be; it’s actually way harder than it looks and dah, dah, dah. They’re just letting me know what they thought about me being a trainer.
In that moment I told myself not to shine too bright. Don’t talk too much about recognition or good things that are happening because it makes other people feel bad.
Something that comes to mind is that classic scene from mean girls when Lindsay Lohan and all the girls are in Regina George’s bedroom and they start giving themselves self-insults:
My hairline is so weird. I hate my curves. My pores are huge.
If you’re of the Mean Girls generation, you probably laughed when you saw that. Because we all know what that’s like.
It’s such a common and acceptable thing for people to speak badly about themselves. It’s not really acceptable to talk about the good things going on in your life or celebrate or even be proud of yourself. It’s looked down upon.
That’s all well and good. I guess nobody loves a total narcissist.
What happens is as women, we’re conditioned to do this to not like ourselves.
We’re conditioned from a very young age. What happens is when you learn not to shine too much, that speaking highly of yourself or even thinking highly of yourself is looked down upon and it is not likable, you start becoming more concerned with being liked than liking yourself.
I noticed so many of my clients carry this into their businesses.
This concept of not wanting to “rock the boat too much” because people might not like it, they might get negative feedback and not really putting themselves out there and being … living up to their full potential just because they are afraid.
They are in fear. Maybe their family might not like it, their friends might not like it, random people on the internet might not like it.
Trying to be likeable holds ALOT of people back.
It can be really tempting to dull your shine in order to make yourself more liked and stay comfortable. It can be easy to not put yourself out there.
To not show up and actually do the amazing work that you’re meant to do in the world and to not show up and take a stand for what you actually believe in.
The more times you don’t show up, or you don’t say what you mean or you don’t do what you really want to do, it really starts to change not only how the world sees you, but how you see yourself.
Before you know it, you have learned to cut yourself short, not like yourself, and not see yourself as amazing just in the name of making yourself more likable to others.
EFF BEING LIKABLE
Who cares if you are more likable to others if you don’t even like yourself? When you let yourself down, when you don’t follow through on the things that you really want to do in your heart, in your head, in your dreams, you start to not like yourself.
Eff being likable. Eff being the nice girl. It is done. It’s over.
This little bad habit actually has the power to wreak havoc on your career and impact you can make. But, also your ability to earn real money.
If you hold yourself back in even the smallest way in your career in order to be liked, in order to not stand too proud, in order to not shine too bright, how do you think that affects your ability to make money?
Especially in comparison to the woman who is not holding herself back in order to be liked. Who is showing up, who literally does not give a F about what other people think of her.
Who do you think will become a millionaire first?
A billionaire first?
Who do you think is going to become a best selling author?
A highly paid speaker?
Who do you think is going to get the most clients?
Make the most impact?
And who is going to change the most lives?
You better believe it is not going to be the woman who is worrying about being liked by others.
If you are someone who finds it hard to stop caring about what other people think, and I totally get it, get invested in showing these people a different way of being.
Show them that by shining, that by liking yourself and celebrating your accomplishments, that it is actually really a cool, and attractive, and sexy, and magnetic, and way more likable and fun to be around someone who loves their life, who is going after amazing things and is actually making things happen in the world.
Show them what LIKING yourself can look like
It takes one person to start a trend; and you can be the person who starts this trend, who breaks the mean girl generation free from talking shit about herself. Imagine what would be possible for your life and the lives of everyone else if we were just more concerned with being the light than being likable.
I’d love for you to comment below and let me know if you didn’t give an F about being liked, what is the first thing that you would do? It can be as small as dyeing your hair pink. It may be you’re finally writing your novel, maybe you’re picking up and moving to another city, maybe you’re quitting your job and starting your dream business. I want to hear from you.
I’m wishing you love and light and bite-size bitchiness.
Be the light and stop giving an F about being likable.